I Give to Thee Thine Gift of Ye Olde Randomoscity!!! ... and Mediocre Old English

Hello again. How are you? I worry about you sometimes. I wonder if you're really enjoying where you're at, what you're doing. Are your thoughts pure? Are you motives strong? Did you change your underwear this morning? Are you even wearing underwear? *suspiciously raises eyebrow*

Erin, I didn't return your text message last night because for one reason or another I was exhausted and collapsed in my bed before I could think of anything witty to say. Sorry. I wish I could have danced with you.

Katherine, my vitamins are called "Multi for Her with Calcium and Iron" (don't judge me) made by Nature Made. The bottle is yellow and purple... just in case you still cared... even though I should have told you a month ago.

Bellami, I love you. Everytime I see a poem that I hate, I think of you and how you never tried to force poetry on me. Thank you.

Meagan, I love your hair. We need to get you some gel/wax/crazy carcinogenic hair product and make you all spikey and kick ass.

I bought some new shampoo this weekend, which, I think, is rather exciting. It's Herbal Essences and smells of God and Jesus and Chocolate rolled into one. The only think that pisses me off is the back of the bottle. (Yes, I am a loser who reads the backs of bottles). The back of this particular bottle reads "... my weightless formula fused with white nectarine and pink coral flower... and my fresh lather will leave you with lush, full volume...". And I thought to myself, why is my shampoo bottle addressing me? Does it things it's a person and not a bit of plastic fashioned into a hollowed out container? Because somehow a product that talks to you like it is a person is more appealing to the consumer than a normal bottle that knows its place in the world as a bit of plastic? What the hell kind of a marketing scheme is that?

This is the longest my hair has ever been. Ever. Just in case you cared.

As for politics... I'm glad that something changed. Who knows if it will be for better or worse. Rumsfeld is gone, only to be replaced with some other guy who has connections to the Iran Contra Scandal... mmm, delectable. We finally have a Muslim in Congress. And Texas is still run by a douche-bag and controlled exclusively by Republicans... delicioso.

Young people are so bitter. Why?

*looks around*... this room needs more plants...