Orgasm in a bottle.

While at the drug store the other day, I found some bottles of old school Herbal Essences shampoo and conditioner. So I bought them. And washed my tresses with them.

Now my head smells like a 65 year old woman's bathroom. Excellent.

Old Friends

Lisa: Hi, Sleep. I'm Lisa. It's nice to meet you.
Sleep: Nice to meet you too.
Lisa: Wait a sec... you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?
Sleep: Yeah, I was gonna say...
Lisa: Wait!... You're that vital biological process that I used to engage in regularly every night!
Sleep: Oh my gosh, you're right!
Lisa: Holy cow, it's so great to see you again. Hey, why don't we hang out anymore?
Sleep: Oh well, you know you started going to college, and I... well, I'm just the fictitious personification of an act. It's hard for me to make these kinds of plans and keep commitments. You understand how it is.
Lisa: Right... Hey! Can we hang out tonight?
Sleep: Actually, I've got a date with Breathing... and you've got that paper due tomorrow. So probably not. Here! Let me give you a couple of my friends' numbers. I'm sure they'd be up for hanging out tonight. Their names are Coffee and Loneliness. They're really cool guys...

A letter

Dear people who walk at an uncomfortably close distance behind me on my way to class,

Stop that! Don't make me get out the bitch slappin's...

Sincerely,
The Bitch

The Best of Times

Today I read 100 pages of "The Grapes of Wrath" and didn't put on shoes... the entire day. Also, there was a thunderstorm. Good day.

Also, I went to Ecuador (not today... but you know, for the last couple of months). You can read about it here.

Heerrrrrrrmmmmm....

Oh boy, oh boy! First post of the year. But I trust that as the river of blog posts has run a bit dry this year, the content quality has more than made up for it. I like to think of quality as the juice of the writing. And I also like to form a visual image of all of my posts as plump and ripe fruits (preferably a drupe, for they are the best of the fruits... and they have a funny name).

Which brings me to the topic of bachelorette parties. And mostly the fact that I don't understand them.

I would like to do a little prologue to this post and note that my sister has recently entered the age in life in which you graduate from college and get married and/or get a job. No, she is not getting married, but all of her friends are. So, you know, I hear a bit about the matter. And I speculate and draw conclusions (or not).

The cases to which I am mainly exposed are good, God-fearing girls who are preparing for a special night. And they do so by throwing a parties clouded with sexual innuendo and jam-packed with "naughty" clothing and novelty items. Okay, it's probably not that bad.

It just makes me question how you can have a celebration where your friends buy you lingerie and karma sutra calenders, and not feel extremely awkward. Maybe I can find some explanation if the parties were originally just some kind of get together that has become warped over the years, but still... a bit awkward.

And then part of me immediately asks what kind of light this view sheds on sex. And then I back away from the loaded, multi-faceted answer... slowly.

So I guess what I'm asking here is: what is the point of a bachelorette (and bachelor, for that matter) party?

Is it to laugh about sex, and serve as a kind of "brace yourself" process? Is it to have the chance to giggle like schoolgirls one last time before you become a woman (whatever that means)? Or is it just a social event that I'm just not getting?