Well that was... different.

So I just picked up the phone, and this recording of a middle-aged woman asked me to press one if I supported "the God-sanctioned marriage between a man and a woman". And I didn't, because I wanted to hear what this recording had to tell me about marriage. She started to go into how she was the conservative mother of three, but then the message abruptly cut off. And I was confused. Maybe it was some kind of survey or fund raiser for a lobbying of some sort. Anyway, it was the highlight of my day: expressing my opinions through... lack of action. Oh, the sad sad life I live.

So here's a dilemma. My mom went to Germany and left me alone with my dad, which is a bad thing because I tend to gain a lot of weight when she takes trips like this (last year it was 10 pounds). So just so everyone knows!!! (because everyone should care about every detail of my life) I'm going to the gym tomorrow morning. You hear that, fatty rolls?!? *pokes love handles* We're going to the gym, and we're not coming back until at least one of you is gone. So you two can just discuss which one is going to go. No, I will not compromise and have half of each of you. It's one or the other. I will not yield!!!

Oh right... Prom. I made court! *woot* Which is exciting because that means Prom night could be super-ridiculously-"oh my God I just shit my pants with joy!"-kick ass... or just really really awesome. Either way, we'll have fun. And dance our frustrations out on the dance floor. DAANNNCE!!!

Have you ever noticed how in movies from the 80s, computers could do like everything. For example, in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" (which you still need to see, Meagan) Ferris actually hacks into the school's system and reduces his number of absent days. On one of those huge beige boxs with the green blinky letters! Before the time of internet!

Just a thought. And a rather stunted one at that. Ok, I'm done.

"I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!"

Link (click... if you dare... *pedophile eyebrows*)

V... for Vendetta! And, apparently, a lot of other words that start with the letter that were addressed in a lengthy little monologue. Vantastic! But before I rip this movie a new one - which I'm totally not going to do, because it was actually quite entertaining and insightful - just let me say, the movie (despite sporadic moments of cheese) was actually quite entertaining and insightful (yeah, I did that on purpose). The twists were great and there was never a dull moment. So all in all, I would rate it somewhere around Quizno's on the scale that uses fastfood chains to represent movie goodness... and looks something like this:

(in ascending order)

Popeye's -> Long John Silver's -> Burger King -> Wendy's -> McDonald's -> Quizno's -> Arby's

The best part about "Vendetta" was that it was so many other stories combined into one! But it was still original! After a few seconds of pondering, I have dissected it as such: 46% The Count of Monte Cristo, 32% 1984, 9% holocaust, 5% Phantom of the Opera, 3% "The Three Amigos", and 1% that Blind Melon video with the little girl in the bee costume. I know that's a really shallow way to look at a movie, but I'm a very shallow person. *shrug*

So that's that.

So Ms. Sweeney's reading assignment. *pauses for the unanimous groanings of all* I'm actually kind of thankful for it. *pauses for the unanimous pimp slappings* When I signed up for this english class I was actually looking forward to the outside readings. Even if we never discussed them and I never used them after this year, it was still nice to think that I would be building up my "reading repetoire"... or some shit like that. The only problem I have with the woman now is that somehow we all magically turn into third graders the minute we walk in the door. And have to read aloud. ALOUD!!!!And the sad part is that some people actually do sound like third graders when they are reading... *sigh*

Must... get... to... Spring Break...

So maybe the almighty ellipsis isn't so almighty. You got the point. Don't act like you didn't! The point is... if I fail the calculus test tomorrow, I'm not really going to care. My conscience keeps telling me that I should do my best in everything, but it has grown very very tiny now and dwells in the deepest regions of my beings where no one can really hear it anymore. It kind of sounds like that faint noise the TV makes when you put it on mute.

Birthday!!!... sometime next week. And I'll I really want is to go to the beach and burn shit. So, gather all your unwanted college brochures, pamphlets, shiny bits of propaganda, and anything else that looks flammable and meet at my house sometime around Saturday evening (we'll figure out the details later this week). This shit be goin' down! I'll bring the marshmallows and nitrate-filled intestines, and we'll have ourselves one high-falootin' splendid ol' time. SPLENDID! FALOOTIN'!

(This is the part where I get all excited because I think gobs and gobs of people are going to show up, and then it ends up being like me and two other people. Don't say I didn't call it!)

I think I'm prejudice against skinny people. Or maybe it's not so much an offensive act toward thing people, but a defensive act of fat people. It's like... passive prejudice. But we'll talk about this later.

I put the ger in hooker baby, yeah! ... wait... what?

Oprah is getting a little pudgy again. Is it wrong that that makes me happy?

DDR PARTY!!! at casa de Lisa. The only requirement for an invitation is the ability to find my house... *maniacal laughter*... *hides house behind tree*. Or knowing my cell phone number... tehe... *hides cell phone number behind tree*. Come if you feel like it. And if you don't, well then you can just stay home and rot like the anti-social filth that you are! Bagh! I spit at you.

And chinese food. Oh how there will be chinese food!

*Looks around*... I really should clean up the house... *ponders*...