Here Comes the Sun!

Doo-ba-doo-bee! It's the Beatles, dammit!

I just wrote less than a page of script in Spanish, and I suck so hard at writing in a foriegn language that I had to write something in English just to validate my own self worth... yet again. That is where this blog post comes in. I swear, it was only 200 words, but it still took me an hour and half. Spanish compositions are to constipation as English compositions are to _________.

a. a jar of almonds
b. Judy Bloom
c. diarrhea
d. ubiquitous

Remember those?!

Today it rained. The concept of non-Texas rain is still strange to me. It goes like this: a light drizzle that eventually evolves into an almost intangible mist followed my more drizzling with the occasional fat drop hitting you right in the eye. This continues for no less than 24 hours.

After living in Tejas for a number of years, I expect every raincloud to bring torrents of downpour and lighting and thunder and tornadoes watches. That crazy rain that goes sideways and throws itself up against the window so hard that your mother comes bustling into the room in a frantic tizzy (poorly concealed) and shoves you and your sister into the closet under the stairs without explaining anything. And then after 15 minutes of madness, it clears and there is sun again.

Damn, I miss Texas.

But the rain felt right today. After a straight week of delicious weather (sun, clear skies, high of 74), there just had to be a break from the beauty. It was kind of eerie how perfectly the good weather coincided with "Cornell Days" when all the parents/prospective students come and journey around campus taking in the history and listening for that secret loophole to beating the admissions game and getting a free ride in (yes, I've been there too).

I still wonder why more people don't shout truths at the touring groups, like "Don't come here! They average everything to a B-!" or "I lost my will to live months ago!" or "'Ivy League Prestige' attracts more pompous assholes than any other group!". I guess there's a kind of respective restraint. The mentality is that if we badmouth the school, we badmouth ourselves for choosing to come to the school. And if we badmouth ourselves, well that just doesn't mesh well with our pomposity and assholeishness.

But now that they're all gone, the rain is back. Still, I'd rather have sidewalks marred with rain puddles than clusters of meandering tourists...

The Most Depressing Post

I really need to establish a regular posting schedule...

But I'm going to go ahead and be honest here, life hasn't been that exciting this semester. Or has it? You be the judge.

Life Summary (complete with complementary bullet points!... mmm, love me some bullet points)

-Still at Cornell, still living in the Environmentally-friendly dorm
-Still sucking at classes (specifically Organic chemistry with an added level of suckitude in Spanish and Physics!)
-Got an RA position in the environmentally-friendly dorm next year. Wootah!
-Was accepted for a study abroad program in Ecuador over the summer
-Deferred study abroad trip to NEXT summer (travel, beaurocratic issues)
-Planned to stay in Ithaca over the summer and take a couple of classes and get a lab position (still workin' on that...)
-Became a chimesmaster!
-Still have no clue what I'm going to do with my life...

Really truly and deeply, all I want to do is write and read... all... day... long. It's plausible. I could live in my parent's basement and be a no-good moocher, but something inside of me just won't let me do that. We Passmore's are the fightin' type.

So I will continue on my pre-med, Human Biology, Health, and Society-studying course. And I'll tack on a Global Health minor and mislead everyone into thinking I'll do something exciting and unexpected with that, but I probably won't. Honestly (at this point in my disillusioned life), I could see myself applying to a slacker med school (if such a thing exists) or going into dentistry.... which are pretty much one in the sameOOOOHHHHSNAP! (sorry, dentists).

I'm really not that depressed, just tired of school. I'm kind of burnt out. Not just on classes, but also on ambition and ambitious peoples. I just want (for once) to be inspired for some extended period of time without having my dreams dashed to shreds by a failing grade or someone saying something pompous and silly ("I got below the mean on one test in this petty class that no one will care about after this semester! Now I'll never get into medical school.") But I'll always be there, consoling and giving hugs. I guess that's the woman in me.

I've decided that I'm always going to have a guinea pig companion. Hell, I'm going to have a farm! Where pigs will be free to frolic in the grass and scuttle about in funny little way. That's what I'm going to do with my life.

Dove Chocolates

This is the first day in a long time that I don't have bookoos of work looming over me (there is still work to be done, it's just not looming... yet). So I've decided to devote this next... period of time... to the eating and analyzing of Dove Chocolates.

If you don't eat Dove Chocolates, you are lame. But you are also unaware that each chocolate has a sassy little message of wisdom (or something that sounds like it anyway) written on the foil wrapping. If you have ever eaten an entire bag... by yourself... in one sitting... you know that there are really only 5 or 6 messages per bag and they start to get redundant pretty fast (depending on how quickly you eat your chocolate).

But for now I'm on my first 3 in a new bag and their inspiring little messages are still magical. I like to think there's a saucy middle-aged woman (divorced once, no children, poorly dyed red hair) that lives in the Dove factory and just wanders around jotting her thoughts down in a little notebook. And then they print them on the foil, and pissed off women like me open them and think "Now that's a cheeky little thought. That inspires me to be cheeky myself and eat another handful of chocolates."

Actually, I can really only handle three. They be so rich and smooth and delicious.

So the last one I opened read: "Test your limits and keep going."

Which is interesting because (at this moment) I am about riding on very little sleep (3-5 hours for the last three nights) and whole lot of exaustion. Whine. Whine. Whine. (Yes, I know. I'm terrible.) I've actually discovered (or spent enough time in to notice) this state where I have so little sleep that I actually feel physically nauseous, like every movement I make has this dizziness and added resistance to it. I call it... sleepy sickness.

Very exciting. Profound discovery.

So I'm going to go to bed now. Even though the Dove wrapper encourages me to test my limits and then keep going. I don't think the Dove wrapper really knows what it's asking of me. And I don't really want to test this one anymore than I already have.

(Leo Update: Leo survived his great fall and was fine the next day. Although the collision with the ground did succeed in knocking out his front teeth (unfit mother!). But is okay, because they grow back (the benefits of being a rodent) and he is making a glorious recovery.

Parachute training is in progress... (that would just be damn awesome).

Thank God there are people in the world like you, Bellami, to drop babies on their heads for the rest of us who just don't have the balls to do it.)