...crap. I don't want to go back to school tomorrow. I'm not ready to return to days controlled by a bell... buzzer... thing. I really thought I was going to get a lot accomplished in the 10 days that I was alotted for eating, but mostly I've just been... eating. And hanging out with all the lucky bastards that get to go to college *nostalgic moment*. I think the worst part about being a senior is that there's no one left to look up to. Sure, it's nice to be reverred in the eyes of the lower classes every once in a while, but meh... I miss the college-folk.
Fencing hurts so good. Seven hours of sword-play seems wrong... yet it feels so right. Until today, when I can't feel my legs or my lower-back. I think I'll just drag myself around the house with my arms for a while. And when they give out, I'll just flop. Like a fish. A fish that refuses to use its arms or legs.
December 15th at 4:00 pm I'll find out about Cornell. And yes, I am shitting my pants about it. As much as I consider myself the scholarly-atheist-based-on-science type, I really am very superstitious. I rely on instinct a little too much and totally take omens and premonitions seriously. Even talking about this right now is deterring my chances of getting in. So I'll stop.
I wish I liked my family more. Life would probably be at least somewhat easier that way. I think I've decided that my father is like one of those old dogs that is deaf and blind in one eye and just sits around all day barking and growling at anything that comes near him. The worst part is they all have this vision in their minds that I'm the depressed stereotypical teenager who mopes around the house all the time being bitter and rebelling against life. And then they spread this view to my extended family. So by the time Christmas rolls around, everyone is just sitting around drinking beer and playing cards and making fun of me for being a moody teenager... which doesn't really help the situation at all. So now I just feel alienated from all of them, and am pretty sure that, eventually, I'm going to fake my own death and get a face implant to get away.
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2 comments:
If you have ever seen the movie "Face-off" then you know exactly where I am going with this...if not...then imagine us switching faces. Creepy. Anywho, you better give me a call on Dec. 15, at 4:01. Have fun, and don't give in to the bell, be late, it's better that way. Don't lay around like a fish, your not that lazy...yet.
P.S. your title has nothing to do with your blog.
la la la la Lola by The Kinks one of the best songs about a transvestite! Eddie Izzard would be proud
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